Review: Live Alone and Like It by Marjorie Hillis
There’s this idea a lot of us seem to have about women of the past. They weren’t free, they were victims of the patriarchy with zero agency over their lives, and they had it way worse than women of the present time do (and hopefully, women of the future will have it better as well).
And, like with most general ideas, there’s some truth to it. But, it’s not all true. That’s why some old books seem so refreshing, funny, and current, even if they’re almost 100 years old. Such is the case with Live Alone and Like It by Marjorie Hillis (the title in Spanish seems so much better to me: El placer de vivir sola or The pleasure of living alone ).
Published in 1936, the book is a guide for women who live alone, whether that is because they want to (what?! Women in the 1930s could choose to live alone?!) or because they are widows, spinsters, or pretty young things. According to Hillis, it doesn’t matter why they want to live alone, what matters is they can live alone… and like it!
Hillis, who worked as an editor in Vogue and was, of course, a very privileged white woman in New York City, does the best she can to make the book accessible to most (I’m guessing white) women of her time, and in a very cheeky style, gives advice considering economic class, social status, and location.
She delves into a number of subjects that may interest women living alone in 1936 and surprisingly in 2021 too: how to decorate, how to be a good host, what hobbies to try, how to take care of yourself, when to ask for help, and even when is it okay to have a gentleman over (no worries, Hills won’t judge you for it).
And overall she celebrates living alone so much so that you can’t help but love the idea of kicking everyone out of your space.
“One of the great advantages of your way of living is that you CAN be alone when you want to. Lots of people never discover what a pleasure this can be. Perhaps it was because of its possibilities that the misused expression 'enjoy yourself' came into being. The more you enjoy YOURSELF, the more of a person you are.”
From woman to person
Living alone in 2021 or in 1936 seems like a hard thing to do as a woman, who are typically expected to be with their parents or partner. Filled with doubts, we venture on our own and try to do it our best, looking for advice wherever we can find it.
That's why it's no surprise that Hillis's book was one of the top 10 nonfiction best sellers of the 30s, and has had massive popularity in subsequent years.
Though Hillis doesn't seem particularly political in her writing, she does advocate (in a fun and sometimes cheeky fashion) for the independence of women in the sense that freedom and the ability to do what you please with your life allows you to become a person.
And becoming a person it's scary. And becoming a woman can be even scarier in a world that doesn't always want you to be. Without causing her readers to freak out, she does talk about security, sickness, and those moments when you alone are not enough and need someone by your side.
But she also goes into the pleasures. Having hobbies, inviting friends over, and making a delicious meal in a simple way. These, by the way, aren't only pleasures, but necessities. Because to live a happy fulfilled life, you need to have a good time, even in those smaller, simpler moments.
The pleasure of living alone
I started reading this book because, for the first time in my life, I live alone. No parents, no roomies, no partners, and at the moment not even a cat, just me, myself, and I. So I wondered, what was it like to live alone in the 30s?
It turns out, in terms of being in your own space, it’s pretty much the same, except for some references on luxurious beds, four types of pajamas, the kind of drinks you may prepare at home, and the idea of having a live-in maid in your space. The rest…it's pretty much the same.
Hillis finishes each one of the chapters of her book with cases of different women who deal with living alone in various manners. Some are successful and some others hate living alone.
It turns out at the end of the day, the trick to living alone and liking it, no matter the time frame, is to like yourself, become your own best friend, and, as corny as it may sound… love yourself!
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