Poem: You Can Be Happy If You Want

I want to be alone.

I want to say out loud how I am feeling.

I want to do this in only one place.

I decide to walk to a hidden lake.

Each mile it takes to get there I dedicate to a memory of you.

When I arrive, I become aware of how utterly alone I am.

It is the perfect place for what is to come next.

I take off each piece of clothing.

I dedicate each piece to a hope, wish, desire, and dream I have of you.

I go into the water to cleanse myself of them.

I do not cry out in agony from the piercing cold and pain.

I smile and laugh.

I realize that no part of me is sad that it did not work out because

Never in my life have I been so happy.

Never in my life have I been so courageous in loving someone.

I have been so brave when it came to loving you.

I realize if this type of love happened to me once it will certainly happen again.

I decide to leave the version of myself that loves you in this lake.

I leave her in this hidden lake where she will be safe until you arrive.

I hope on the day you arrive you go into the water and finally allow her love to wash over you.

I hope on the day you arrive you come to offer her your heart.

I hope on the day you arrive you are brave enough to say to her the words you never could say out loud, “I love you too.”

I lovingly make peace with this version of myself.

I say goodbye to her and to the hidden lake.

I spend each mile walking back thinking of my new hopes, wishes, desires, and dreams.

I decide to keep going until I walk into the person that can openly love me back in the way I always deserved.

I finally am at peace with the fact that this person will not be you.